and then there's this girl.
she totally loves said guy.
he'll never know.
he also will never know
that she is dying to be
bisexual
but she isn't.
its against the doctrine of her religion.

she still has scars
from the last time she cut herself--
several months ago.
she wants to cut again.
but doesn't want to break her momma's heart.

hate me today
hate me tomorrow
hate me for all the things
i never did for you.

leave me alone!
[please hold me]
you're just making me feel worse!
[please hold me]
*glare*
[i love you, why can't you see that?!]

middle
child
syndrome:

1. an emotionally scarring condition.
   Middle children are known for ending up with the things that are too big for the baby in the family and too small for the oldest.
   it is a known fact the youngest and oldest are treated differently than the middle child for the oldest is the first child aka favorite
   and the smallest is the baby aka the last child known for getting whatever they desire because they are the "baby"
   
   Middle Children sydrome includes
   neglect, forgotten dates, and sometimes in bad cases forgetting they even exist.
   
   i lived through this condition,
   it is not fatal
   just difficult.
   
   a first born: OH i just got this GREAT new car!
   a middle child: oh...i have to wait until my sister wrecks hers...then i can have that and they will get her a new one
   a first born: oh Middle Child Syndrome, i see.

i can't believe that its been so long since i've written at Xanga! i mean...i know i have a lot of online journals...and i try to post every twice-in-a-while in each of them...but this is crazy!

okay, so now that i'm over my shock-
*sighs* i admit. i've been spying. i've got subscriptions of people who i have stuff in common with who don't even know i read their blogs. and let me tell ya, they make me giggle.

i'm supposed to get a turtle this week. and his/her name shall be "Tortellini". we want 2, and if we get a second, Tortellini will belong to Eric and i will name mine "Giggles". if you know anything about our pet history(which you probably don't, unless you are Courtney), then you might find it odd that we also named our guinea pig "Nibbles"....hmm.

i'm so hungry and there is nothing to eat!!
i've been paying my little brother's best friend to help me clean my room.
i heart Bolt.com...
Draco/Tom is mad sexy!
my breath is rank...
&& i need to go shower now.